Why?

Have you ever asked yourself why things happen?

Let's go a step further... have you ever asked God why things happen?

God, why are there so many homeless people?

God, why are there orphans?

God, why are there people living in poverty?

God, why did that elderly person/child die of starvation?

God, why...?

Then God waits for you to pour out your frustration and calmly says:

"You tell me why."

*** 

Today, I was sitting at a stop light and there was a beggar on the side of the road. I quickly looked around my car to see if I had any fruit left over in my lunch box, or a box of crackers. I didn't. So, I just stared at him... trying to make eye contact to offer a smile. Then I asked God as I stared at this man's tattoos...

"God, why? Is he a fake? Is he real? Is he a father, a son?"

No reply.

Then a few hours later I took my puppy for a walk, I came home, made dinner, laid in bed and prayed about that man. Now I am here writing a blog because I felt compelled to speak (type). 

I am a beggar --- I beg for God's mercy every day.

I am a thief.

I am a liar.

I am a murderer (not literally).

I am disobedient.

I am undeserving of any attention from God but he dotes it on me, pours it out...

unceasingly.

Somehow, I still get God's love... but I can't even find the courage to pour out love on the "the least of these."

Donald Miller was once quoted saying,

"It was clear that I was to love everybody, be delightful at everybody's existence, and I had fallen miles short of God's aim."

How true is that? I have fallen short, and will always fall short of God's aim. However! That does not mean that daily I will aim my arrow to meet God's expectation. God is not setting me or you up for failure he is setting us up to go out of our comfort zone, to reach the unreachable and love the unlovable because that is what he has done for us. 

I will simply love.

I was called to love. However, in our culture love is overused.

I love my iPhone.

I love this song.

I love your new hair cut.

I love these shoes.

I love, I love, I love!

What does it even mean to love anymore? A word so overused I wish we could come up with a new word for true love.

Dictionary.com says that love means to have a strong liking for or to need.

The bible says that love is purposeful commitment to sacrificial action for another.

So when I ask God why there is poverty, why that man is lonely, why there are orphans... he says lack of love. Lack of love from Christians. Lack of love from parents. Lack of love from you.

Find your purpose in me, commit to me, then sacrifice yourself as I have sacrificed my own for you. Sacrifice your time that I have blessed you with to love others. 

Brady... simply love. simply sacrifice. simply live out your purpose in me.

Matthew 25:44-45

"They will answer, 'Lord, when did we see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or needing clothes or sick or in prison and did not help you?'

He will reply, 'I tell you the truth, whatever you did not do for one of the least of these, you did not do for me."

James 1:27

Religion that God our father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.

Lightening Storm

It was Monday afternoon and I had a summer cold. I was just finishing up Pride and Prejudice while slowly downing a whole ream of Saltine Crackers with a bowl of soup. I was tired of feeling yucky so I thought I'd go for a run. A 2.6+ mile trail run... yep, sweat out the sickness (much against my mom's - a nurse- advice). So me and Maggie my pup set off on a "fun" run, basically 400 feet uphill. Well, while we were 30 minutes into our run and coincidentally at the top of the hill a lightning storm hit. I could only tell because I was on the top of the hill and surrounded by lighting... ha. I began to panic. So on the way down I stopped and warned two girls making their way up the hill who could not see the lightening due to the brush and it still being daylight, they did not care much for my warning, nor did the old man who I ran into next. So I gave up, what's the use in warning every single person I pass if the first three people did not even care? So I passed 7 more people on the way and just waved - my stressed out I want to warn you danger is here all around us - wave.

Depressing.

I gave up so quickly. Not that anyone was hurt but they could have been.

How could I give up so easily on something when my whole life's purpose is to save people from death. To warn them that there is a storm coming. Yet, I gave up. God said that perseverance is key - it is what makes us mature and complete, never lacking anything.

I don't really have anything eloquent to say. It was just some thoughts I was having. I am just so blessed that I have a God who has never given up on warning me - even rescuing me.

Lyrical Commitment

"We raise our white flag, we surrender all to you... all to you" --- WAIT? What did I just say?

There are some moments in my life where I realize that I have been lying to myself and others around me for so long without even knowing it. Sunday in church, I had that moment. Singing praises to God... I was forced onto my knees and had to really investigate the words I had been quoting. Did I really just tell God that I would surrender to him? These lyrics have a meaning... they are not just words and this is not the first time I've sung this song. There are 200+ people in here making the same commitment I am and I wonder how many actually know that they are telling God they will surrender to him. How am I supposed to sing these words and actually surrender to him? What am I even supposed to surrend... oh.

All. 

Yeah. All. 

My:

marriage

future

job

worries

heart

battles

time

money

work

faith

My All.

Every moment I am afraid, every moment I think I have it under control, every moment I believe I can't move on. Every moment that I am overjoyed, overwhelmed, confused, anxious, stressed, relieved.  I am supposed to surrender to him. 

Yet, how can my God carry all that weight, the huge burden of my all, your all, everyone's all? 

Then I remember, my God is not small. My God is huge. My God is a comforter, the Alpha and Omega, the Beginning and the End. He opens the eyes of the blind, holds orphans in his arms, brings people back to life, shines light on the dark places... and still finds time to know every hair on our head, every freckle, every tear, every smile. He even gave up his son's life for you and me. That's a big God. One who cannot be defeated by death but can conquer darkness through death. That's when I realized that I want to surrender to him. I want to kneel at his feet and beg him to love me even when I don't have to. What a blessing. 

My Heavenly Father,

I want to surrender all I have to you, my all. Lord take it and then use me how you would to your greater purpose. Lord I am making myself available because I know that your plan is greater than mine for yours involves eternity. Make my purpose known to me as I lay everything at your feet to pick up the cross. I have waved my white flag and am prepared for the path you will take me. I want to leave this Earth knowing that I gave my all to you and in the end you will look down on me with a smile and say "Well done, my good and faithful servant." Lord, this is hard for me... it is a leap of faith but one I am willing to take. 

Lead me.

Amen.

Quiet!!

As I tried to calm myself in a chaotic room full of a bunch, 10 to be specific, of 3 year olds, my frustration only seemed to grow. "Hey class! Let's all play a game called 'sit on the mat'." Ha! What was I thinking? I think one kid looked at me like I insulted his intelligence. 


Ten minutes later...

• 2 students on the mat! WHOO HOO!
• 8 running around at the freedom their teacher left them with when I came in for her.

Fifteen minutes later...

• 9 students squirming uncontrollably on the mat and 1exhausted teacher (me) ready to read a book 
• Yes, the one student whose intelligence I insulted was still standing in the same spot staring quizzically at me.

Then I came up with an idea! I'm going to write their names down on the board and call them my "good listeners"! What a great idea! I hoped.


So I began to write... one name after another calling out the child individually, thanking them for their listening ears and bragging about them to the rest of the group. Eventually the class was silent (except for the one boy who raised his hand every 3 seconds asking if his name was on the board - which it was). As I finished writing the names I noticed that every child wanted their name called out. They wanted me to recognize them... they wanted to be called by name.


How many times are we like that with God? He quietly asks us to listen, to obey and yet we run around thinking we are in charge. My mind in that moment was immediately humbled; for when I do obey, when I listen and I see the light God shines on me I realize that it was all worth it. The giving up control and obeying was more exhilarating than running around in madness.


Be Still and know that I am God... Psalm 46:10

Then he told them what they could expect for themselves: "Anyone who intends to come with me has to let me lead. You're not in the driver's seat—I am. Don't run from suffering; embrace it. Follow me and I'll show you how. Self-help is no help at all. Self-sacrifice is the way, my way, to finding yourself, your true self. What good would it do to get everything you want and lose you, the real you? If any of you is embarrassed with me and the way I'm leading you, know that the Son of Man will be far more embarrassed with you when he arrives in all his splendor in company with the Father and the holy angels. This isn't, you realize, pie in the sky by and by. Some who have taken their stand right here are going to see it happen, see with their own eyes the kingdom of God."  Luke 9:23 The Message