Sunday, October 19, 2014


It was a long run day...
Okay, so for some that may be 20+ miles but for me it is the maximum extent of 6 leg cramping, brain teasing, sweat spilling miles. What I love most about long run days, not that I have many, but I tend to go off into my own world and just talk to myself. Yes, full blown conversations... it tends to look like an interrogation. I begin with one question after another.

"How was work this week?"
"When did you show Christ?"
"Are you living radiantly?" 

Then one of my questions jabs my sensitive heart...

"What catastrophic event in your life did God turn around and use for good?"

Wait, what? Did I really just ask myself that... did this smiling, sweaty, three miles in girl just get deep with only three miles left?

The cars rushed by, the grass and trees stayed a steady hopeful blur, and my mind replayed this question over and over again. 
Finally I removed the ear buds wanting a solid, quiet few minutes before I lost momentum to ponder the details involved for this question in which I willingly dove in deep.

"What catastrophic even in your life did God turn around and use for good?"

Few people know my testimony, a group of friends in Romania, my two mentors whom I adore, and my husband. They know how hard I tried to run from my catastrophic event, to place the pieces of my heart back together independently, imagining that the tsunami that attempted to destroy my soul did little harm, considering I was blinded by the darkness that I hid in, so willingly. 

Yet, as I stand here now, in the light, with a heart put back together permanently instead of the childlike mess of my pathetic attempt, I see how God used the devastation for his glory. He uses pain for His glory because He wants to show that there is NO OTHER GOD that compares to who He is! He is superior to all, much like the devastation of the 10 plagues in Egypt, he did so to bring light to the Egyptians gods and their weaknesses. For He, my God, is the only true one. 

I love this verse in Philippians, where Paul who is locked up in chains proclaims, "Yes, I will continue to rejoice, for I know that through your prayers and God's provision of the Spirit of Jesus Christ what has happened to me will turn out for my vindication (deliverance, redemption, salvation). I eagerly expect and hope that I age so that now as always Christ will be exalted in my body, whether by life or by death." Philippians 1:19-20

What has happened to me in the past will turn out for my vindication. 
My life story will not be known in the category of defeat, yet in the victory of Christ. 

Once we acknowledge the pain and suffering for what it is, earthly, we can fully see how God's dream for us is to bring glory to him. It's his plan, not ours that we need to follow. If we depended on perfect marriages, perfect houses, perfect friends, perfect jobs, and perfect circumstances we are setting ourselves up for failure. Yet, if we depend on God's perfect plan, His dream for us, our happiness and our dreams (which will follow His dreams) will not be dependent on any circumstances. Whether you are in chains, jobless, friendless, churchless, or homeless... God has a plan and his plan DOES NOT DEPEND ON LIFE'S CIRCUMSTANCES. So step into His dream for you... let him take ownership of your past so that he can redeem your future.

*Some Thoughts For You*

Do you find yourself still hiding in the darkness, afraid to see the total wreck of life's catastrophe?
How can you let the Holy Spirit shine light on your past this week?
What can you do to let God take ownership of your past and deliver you from the past destruction?

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